石黑一雄(Kazuo Ishiguro)的《別讓我走》(Never Let Me Go)是一部幾乎看不出任何科幻元素、情感上近乎復古的科幻小說,背景設定在複製人已成為普遍現象的未來世界。三個青梅竹馬的好友──凱西(Kathy)、露絲(Ruth)和湯米(Tommy)是從小在海爾珊(Hailsham)寄宿學校長大的複製人。他們的生活被嚴格限定在校園之內,對於自己的身世和外界的好奇也被重重禁忌、秘密和規範隔離著。長大後他們才逐漸明白自己人生的終極意義是將器官「捐贈」給「自然人」,而這也是唯一的意義。多數人無法撐過第四次捐贈,因此「提早死亡」(untimely death)是他們無法逃脫的共同宿命。
心思細膩、善解人意的凱西長大後被指派為「照護者」(the carer),負責陪伴手術後喪失部分身體器官的「捐贈者」(the donor),在一次機會下她與湯米重聚,成了他的照護者。由於長大後三人之間產生糾結難解的感情,迫使兩人分離,直到再次見面,兩人才終於互吐真心。他們度過一段短暫甜蜜的歲月,然而湯米也已走到生命的盡頭。
言語有時而窮。與一生的摯愛離別,話語通常只能成為蒼白的碎片,無力承載情感的劇烈。作者敘述兩人最後一次見面的場景,彷彿輕描淡寫,但直到閱讀此書的多年後,每逢離別,這段文字所描述心境卻總能清晰躍入我的腦海──
Then I came in one day and it was the last time. I arrived just after one o'clock on a crisp December afternoon. I went up to his room, half expecting some change–I don't know what. Maybe I thought he'd have put up decorations in his room or something. But of course, everything was as normal, and all in all, that was a relief. Tommy didn't look any different either, but when we started talking, it was hard to pretend this was just another visit. Then again, we'd talked over so much in the previous weeks, it wasn't as though we had anything in particular we had to get through. And I think we were reluctant to start any new conversation we'd regret not being able to finish properly. That's why there was a kind of emptiness to our talk that day.
某天我去了,那是最後一次見他。那是個清爽的十二月午後,我到達時剛過一點。我爬上樓走進他的房間,預期會看到些改變──雖然不知道是什麼。也許我覺得他會擺上一些裝飾品吧。不過當然一切還是一如往常,這讓我鬆了口氣。湯米看起來沒什麼不同,但當我們一開口說話,實在很難假裝這只是又一次的例行探訪。我們過去幾週已經說了太多話,似乎不需要再特別溝通什麼。我想我們都不願意開啟任何新話題,以免後悔來不及好好結束它。這也就是為何我們當天的對話總隱含著一種難言的空洞。
【註】原著可參照電子書或改編自小說之電影
圖片來源
心思細膩、善解人意的凱西長大後被指派為「照護者」(the carer),負責陪伴手術後喪失部分身體器官的「捐贈者」(the donor),在一次機會下她與湯米重聚,成了他的照護者。由於長大後三人之間產生糾結難解的感情,迫使兩人分離,直到再次見面,兩人才終於互吐真心。他們度過一段短暫甜蜜的歲月,然而湯米也已走到生命的盡頭。
言語有時而窮。與一生的摯愛離別,話語通常只能成為蒼白的碎片,無力承載情感的劇烈。作者敘述兩人最後一次見面的場景,彷彿輕描淡寫,但直到閱讀此書的多年後,每逢離別,這段文字所描述心境卻總能清晰躍入我的腦海──
Then I came in one day and it was the last time. I arrived just after one o'clock on a crisp December afternoon. I went up to his room, half expecting some change–I don't know what. Maybe I thought he'd have put up decorations in his room or something. But of course, everything was as normal, and all in all, that was a relief. Tommy didn't look any different either, but when we started talking, it was hard to pretend this was just another visit. Then again, we'd talked over so much in the previous weeks, it wasn't as though we had anything in particular we had to get through. And I think we were reluctant to start any new conversation we'd regret not being able to finish properly. That's why there was a kind of emptiness to our talk that day.
某天我去了,那是最後一次見他。那是個清爽的十二月午後,我到達時剛過一點。我爬上樓走進他的房間,預期會看到些改變──雖然不知道是什麼。也許我覺得他會擺上一些裝飾品吧。不過當然一切還是一如往常,這讓我鬆了口氣。湯米看起來沒什麼不同,但當我們一開口說話,實在很難假裝這只是又一次的例行探訪。我們過去幾週已經說了太多話,似乎不需要再特別溝通什麼。我想我們都不願意開啟任何新話題,以免後悔來不及好好結束它。這也就是為何我們當天的對話總隱含著一種難言的空洞。
【註】原著可參照電子書或改編自小說之電影
圖片來源